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Narcissist smear campaigns are one of the most difficult things to deal with after leaving narcissistic abuse. What makes it worse is when they are enabled by their flying monkeys and you get abuse by proxy.
It could be a toxic parent. A narcissist has a deep in a wound, a childhood trauma, that leaves them with such a deep sense of shame.
It will deny their entire existence — this grandiose persona they have created — to hide that wounded child inside.
And because they want to win at all costs they engage flying monkeys to help them do their work. One is support and the other is not. And it was only after Dorothy threw water at the wicked witch and she melted away, was the spell broken.
Or, they may be other toxic people, a little toxic group who are supporting each other and smearing you.
One common instance where FMs are recruited is after a breakup. The narc will undoubtedly charm a few new people to bolster his or her ego, and these newbies will be told all about how horrible, crazy, and possibly even abusive their ex was.
These new people are likely to be compassionate, empathic sorts, and will immediately want to comfort and protect the narc as best they can.
They may offer to help however they can, which gives the narc a perfect opportunity to keep working their evil magic in your life.
Only accept requests from friends of friends, and ask as many mutual connections as you can who these newcomers are.
Do a little bit of recon before granting them permission. These people, termed through popular psychology, as flying monkeys in context of narcissist abuse and redirect all attention back to the narcissist Retrieved 30 May So the role of these flying monkeys is first of all abuse by proxy.
Gaslighting, Love Bombing and Flying Monkeys: The Ultimate Toxic Relationship Survival Guide for Victims and Survivors of Narcissistic Abuse.
Bill the Sociopathic Flying Monkey. Healing the Trauma of Psychological Abuse: A Lived Experience Roadmap to a Mindful Recovery. Business Insider.
Sociopaths don't necessarily work alone either. If they're really intent on destroying you, they may rely on a gang of "flying monkeys" to make your life miserable.
It's a reference to The Wizard of Oz, where the flying monkeys do all the Wicked Witch of the West's dirty work. It's Not You, It's Them: When People Are More Than Selfish.
Psych Central. Thought Catalog. Huffington Post. This tactic brings your friends into the manipulation to hoover you back or at least display the pretense that they really wanted it to work out.
Your friends and family that have been targeted and used by the narcissist are also being conned. The method a narcissist uses to hook you in the beginning is the same they use on your friends to recruit them to be flying monkeys.
While other friends may go to the dark side and may never be someone you want in your life again. Still, others may be worth saving after the pixie dust wears off.
A healthy friend would come to you with the concerns your narcissist is talking about you, they would ask you to verify the lies they heard and trust and believe you when you explain.
Having your new vocabulary and knowing about flying monkeys does not mean you go running to your friends and family accusing them of being one.
That will backfire in many ways.